Respect
3/25/99

A while back I wrote an essay on the death of the Original Cookie, a cookie
store in the mall.  You can read about it at
http://knoledge.org/mdavis/originalcookie.html.  I had fond memories of the
Original Cookie, and if you read the article you'll know what I mean.

Anyway, I was talking to some friends and the subject of this essay came
up, and I was telling the story to someone who hadn't heard it before, when
one of my friends said something like, "Oh, get over it.  It's just a
cookie store."

Whoa!  Stop the stagecoach.  Let me explain something to you.  What is
important to me is not necessarily what's important to you.  You don't
*have* to care about the Original Cookie.  You can think it's *stupid* to
care about that.  Fine.  I have no problem with that.  It's called
DIFFERING OPINIONS.  But if you *know* that *I* care, you don't have to
*tell* me how stupid you think it is.  It's called RESPECT FOR OTHER PEOPLE.

Suppose you have a dog.  And suppose I hate your dog.  Fine, right?  No law
says I have to like your dog.  And suppose your dog dies, and you feel bad
about it.  Am I gonna say, "Get over it, it was just a dumb dog, for cryin'
out loud."  No!  Because even though *I* don't care about your dumb dog, I
respect the fact that *you* do.  So I'll keep my yap shut.

Well, you say, that's no comparison.  The traumatic death of a loving pet
cannot be compared to someone closing a cookie store.  Stop a minute.
Think about what you're saying.  Are you trying to judge objectively?  Is
there some OBJECTIVE STANDARD that says a dog is worth something, but a
cookie store isn't?  I'm just a *jerk* for caring about the Original
Cookie?  Is that what you're saying?

No, it's just your OPINION.  There's no reason I *ought* to feel bad about
somebody's dead dog.  And there's no reason anyone should care about a
cookie store, just because I do.

We can have differing opinions!  It's okay!  I'm not asking you to care
about the cookie store.  I'm asking you to care about ME.  To have the
respect to not belittle something that's important to me.  It doesn't
matter what it is, that's NOT the point.  The point is RESPECT.
*Consideration.*

You know what I call a person who says "That thing isn't important to me,
so therefore it isn't important"?  SELF-CENTERED.  You're not the only one
on the planet, pal.  Your opinions aren't necessarily objective truth, you
know.  Other people have different feelings and different opinions.

And even if it *is* an issue of objective truth, you can still be polite,
you know.  I know people that believe in astrology.  It's an unscientfic
concept, and I can provide consistent rational reasons why you shouldn't
believe in it.  But I don't go up to astrologists and tell them they're
stupid!  That's rude.  If I think they shouldn't believe in astrology, I'll
talk to them about it, politely.  It's called respect.  You just don't mock
something people hold dear, NO MATTER WHAT IT IS.  If you do, it is
DISRESPECTFUL.

Now, if you're TRYING to be disrespectful, then I guess you'll go right
ahead.  I'm talking to the people that are being disrespectful on accident,
because of self-centeredness.

And for the record, I do like dogs.  And if I didn't like your dog, and it
died, I would still care, because I'd feel bad for *you*.  We don't have to
care about the same THINGS, just EACH OTHER.  It's called respect.