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RFC-TFTM Part 3


Radio Free Cybertron presents:

Transformers: The Movie

Part III

Starring...

Maximus Prime as Unicron

Brian Kilby as Galvatron

ViceGripX as Cliffjumper

Túrin as Spike Witwicky

Zobovor as everyone else

With Special Guest Stars...

Dinobot

and Waspinator

-----{Scene 11}

Narrator: While the funeral dirge for Optimus Prime plays on, the
Decepticons retreat from the inferno that is Autobot City.

Sound: Astrotrain, reeling through space

ASTROTRAIN: You'd better jettison some weight or we'll never make it to
Cybertron!

(beat)

ASTROTRAIN: Well, we'll *make* it to Cybertron, we just won't make it
there *safely*. See, we won't be able to *stop* once we get there.
Basically, we'll be splattered into tiny little Deceptichunks. I think the
key idea to remember is that if we don't jettison some weight, we'll all be
killed.

Starscream: Are you finished?

Astrotrain. Yes.

Starscream: Besides, you meant *mass*, didn't you?

Astrotrain: Er, yeah.

(beat)

STARSCREAM: Fellow Decepticons, Astrotrain has requested that we lighten
our load.

Astrotrain: Actually, it's quite a bit more urgent than a request--

Starscream: Shut up, you fool!

Hook: I say it is survival of the fittest!

STARSCREAM: Hmm, do I hear a second on that?

(Uninjured): (Aye!) (Sure!) (Yup!) (Yeah!) (What was the question again?)

STARSCREAM: Any opposed?

(Injured): (Nay!) (No!) (No!) (Oh, smeg...) (Has anyone seen my left arm?)

STARSCREAM: The ayes have it! A ha hah hahaahahahah!

Sound: scuffling

(Injured): (Please!) (No...!) (Ahhh!) (Auntie Em! There's no place
like home!) (Hey, I can see my house from here!)

(Uninjured): Seeya! So long!

Soundwave: See "ya." Wouldn't want to be "ya."

(They all get thrown out the hatch)

Starscream: Oh Meeeeegatron...

(Starscream carries Megatron to the hatch)

Starscream: So, Megatron. Megarino. Megatronissimo. How's everything?

Megatron: Wait, I still function...

STARSCREAM: Not for long... Oh, how it *pains* me to do this!

MEGATRON: Wait! Wait! Wait! Wait!

STARSCREAM: Hasta la vista, buddy.

MEGATRON: Wait! Wait!

STARSCREAM: As Megatron has, well, abdicated, I suppose that makes me the
new leader, being next in the chain of command and all.

Bonecrusher: Not so fast, Starscream. The Constructicons from Devastator,
the most powerful robot, assuming you don't count Bruticus or Menasor.
*We* should rule.

SOUNDWAVE: Soundwave superior. Constructicons inferior. And stupid. And
ugly.

BONECRUSHER: Who are you calling inferior?

HOOK: No one would follow an uncharismatic boor like you!

Sound: Several cassettes eject

*RUMBLE: Hey, nobody calls Soundwave un-krossa-matic!

Sound: Fighting

Starscream: Decepticons, please! Don't let this degenerate into violence!

Sound: Segue

-----{Scene 12}
(Space near Unicron. Megatron and the other discarded 'Cons float in)

UNICRON: Megatron.

Megatron: Huh?

Unicron: WAZZAAAP!!

MEGATRON: Who--who said that?

UNICRON: I am Unicron.

MEGATRON: Show yourself!

Unicron: We hardly know each other... Now pay attention. I have summoned
you here for a purpose--

MEGATRON: Nobody summons *Megatron--

UNICRON: Wrong!

Megatron: You dare to mock m--

Unicron: Yes.

MEGATRON: State your business!

UNICRON: This is my command: you are to destroy the Autobot Matrix of
Leadership.

Megatron: What's that?

Unicron: No one can be told what the Matrix is. You have to see if for
yourself. It is the one thing, the *only* thing, that can stand in my way,
barring any planet destroying battle stations from another universe.

MEGATRON: You have nothing to fear. I have already crushed Optimus Prime
with my bare hands!

Unicron: No you didn't.

MEGATRON: Well, just about.

Unicron: Fraid not.

Megatron: Well, slag it, he's dead, at any rate, and the Matrix died with
him!

UNICRON: Wrong! The Matrix has been passed to their new leader, Ultra
Magnus. Destroy it for me.

MEGATRON: Why should I? What's in it for me?

Unicron: Your life.

MEGATRON: And...?

UNICRON: I will provide you with a new body, and new troops to command.

MEGATRON: And...?

UNICRON: AND NOTHING! You belong to *me*, now.

MEGATRON: I belong to NOBODY!

UNICRON: Fine. By all means, proceed on your way to oblivion.

Megatron: And...?

Unicron: ...am I not speaking clearly or something?

Sound: Unicron's funky red light of destruction.

MEGATRON: No, no! Wait! Wait! Okay, I accept your terms! I ACCEPT!

Sound: Megatron screams like a little girl.

UNICRON: Excellent.

Sound: riff from "Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure"

Sound: Megatron-Galvatron metamorphosis sequence

UNICRON: Behold--Galvatron.

UNICRON: And these shall be your minions: Scourge, the tracker, and his
huntsmen, the Sweeps.

Narrator: A glowing fog surrounds the Decepticons, turning THUNDERCRACKER
into Scourge.

(beat)

Narrator: Yes, Thundercracker.

UNICRON: Cyclonus, the warrior, and his armada.

Sound: Explosion

Unicron: Whoops. Okay, just Cyclonus, then.

GALVATRON: I will rip open Ultra Magnus, and any Autobot who gets in my
way. The Matrix shall be destroyed!

(beat)

Galvatron: Okay, then, let's all get acquainted. I, as you know, used to
be Megatron. And you... Cyclonus, is it? How are you then? You were
Skywarp a minute ago, weren't you?

Cyclonus (Dinobot): Grr, I would *prefer* to carry out our mission,
*mighty* Galvatron.

UNICRON: Go. Destroy the Autobot Matrix. Of Leadership, that is.

Galvatron: Come along, Scourge.

Scourge (Waspinator): Hmm, Scourge thinks we should go to Cybertron and
teach Starscream a lesson.

Galvatron: Yes... to Cybertron!

UNICRON: Go. Destroy the Matrix.

-----{Scene 13}
(On Cybertron, Decepticon coronation courtyard)

Sound: Constructicons are blowing trumpets at Starscream's coronation

STARSCREAM: My fellow Decepticons, as your new, democratically elected,
heh, leader, I--

Sound: Galvatron flies in

STARSCREAM: Who dares to disrupt the coronation of Starscream the
Magnificent?!

GALVATRON: Coronation, Starscream? This is bad comedy!

STARSCREAM: I know you are, but what am I?

Gavlatron: You're a fool!

Starscream: I know you are, but what am I?

Galvatron: You will pay for your insolence!

Starscream: Wait a minute... you're not Megatron in a new body by any
chance, are you?

GALVATRON: Here's a hint!

Sound: He transforms to an artillery piece and blasts at Starscream

Starscream: Ow! That stings!

Cyclonus: Grr, Galvatron, I don't think Unicron hooked up your weapons
correctly. Let me take a look. I think I can give you more power... (Tim
Allen grunt)

Sound: tinkering

Cyclonus: Grr, okay, try it now.

Starscream: Wait! Wait!

Sound: Galvatron shoots Starscream.

Starscream (very weakly, but not tragically): Oh... yeah...

Sound: Galvatron shoots Starscream.

Starscream: What a world, what a world... (fades)

Sound: Galvatron transforms

GALVATRON: Will anyone attempt to fill his shoes?

Robot1: Actually, I think *I* should be the next leader--

Sound: Galvatron transforms. Fires. Transforms.

GALVATRON: Will anyone attempt to fill *his* shoes?

Robot2: I think--

Sound: Galvatron transforms. Fires. Transforms.

GALVATRON: Anyone *else*?

Sound: silence

*RUMBLE: What'd he say his name was?

GALVATRON: Rumble, it's me, Megatron. I got a new body, and I've chosen
to go by the name Galvatron from now on.

*(all): Hail Galvatron! Galvatron!

-----{Scene 14}

Sound: Segue

Narrator: Meanwhile, the Autobots are having problems of their own...

Sound: (Unicron shows up and bears down on Moonbase One)

JAZZ: What the smeg is *that*?!

CLIFFJUMPER: Well, it looks like a giant planet about to kill us. Perhaps
you'd better radio for help?

Sound: (Mandibles tear into the moon, debris flies)

JAZZ: Talk to me, Earth! We got a situation out here! Roger me, wilco
me, anything! Hello, hello Earth!

BLASTER: I'm picking up a faint signal. (Transforms)

JAZZ: This is Jazz. An enormous, weird-looking planet just showed up in
the suburbs of Cybertron--

CLIFFJUMPER: And it's attacking Moonbase One--

Sound: (signal breaks up) krzzt zzzkt tkkkzztzz...

Jazz: I think we're on our own. Let's get out of here!

CLIFFJUMPER: Fuel

Jazz: Check.

Cliffjumper: Navigational computer.

Jazz: Online.

Cliffjumper: Fuzzy dice.

JAZZ: Check! HIT IT!

Sound: shuttle launch

CLIFFJUMPER: Jazz, we're not getting away!

Jazz: Thank you, Captain Obvious! Throw some stuff out! Maybe with less
mass we can break free!

Sound: Rummaging

Jazz: No, not my Four Seasons CDs!

Sound: (They're sucked in)

Narrator: Meanwhile...

SPIKE: This is Spike and Bumblebee up here on Moonbase Two.

*BUMBLEBEE: This *thing*, this monster planet, just ripped the first moon
to shreds!

SPIKE: And it's heading this way. We'll try and slow it down, but I think
we have about as much chance as... well, something really unlikely. You
better get here fast 'cause we're--

Sound: transmission breaks up

SPIKE: Bumblebee, activate the explosives. If this doesn't stop it,
nothing will, short of some sort of deus ex machina!

*BUMBLEBEE: The explosives are activated. Let's get outta here!

Sound: Shuttle

Sound: Explosion

Spike: Yeeeeeeeeeeeha! All right! Nothing can go wrong now!

*BUMBLEBEE: LOOK!

SPIKE: It isn't even scratched! Well that's just great, man. What are we
supposed to do now, huh? What are we gonna do? Game over, man. Game over!

*BUMBLEBEE: We're being sucked into it!

Spike: Eww...

Sound: Unicron swallowing the shuttle

Narrator: Meanwhile, On Cybertron...

GALVATRON: How dare Unicron! Cybertron and all its moons, and the whole
universe, for that matter, as I've said on occasion, belong to me!

Unicron's voice: Oh yeah?

Sound: Unicron tortures Galvatron, he writhes in pain

SCOURGE: Now remember, sandcastle-bot belongs to *him*.

GALVATRON: I belong to NOBODY! (more pain) No! Uhh.... I will obey,
Unicron... <under his breath> you scumbag. (recovers, breathing hard)
Decepticons, to Earth!

Cyclonus: Grr, I'm hanging with the wrong crowd...

Sound: Their ship flying through space

(Copyright) 2000 by Túrin